How not to give feedback | #amwriting

previously published on my Halcja's Place blog

I've already ranted about it on Twitter but I must be really triggered because I just can't stop thinking about what's happened. So here's my sob story of how I got my first "feedback" on my poem.

As I've mentioned before, I'm now working on a project where I aim to write a collection of poems and flash fiction until the end of this year. I'm not that experienced in poetry so I usually write free verse. But this time I wrote a poem that actually rhymed, and I was very proud of it.

Another thing I should mention is that my poems are quite pessimistic. But I like them that way. Writing them makes me feel good about myself so I have no intentions of changing that anytime soon.

So I posted on FB about how writing sad poems makes me happy. And someone I know from uni commented that I should post it (wording it not very politely btw). And as stupid as I sometimes am, I posted the poem in the comments (with a smiley face, so it was kind of obvious that I'm content with it).

The reply came and it made my blood boil. This person wrote a poem comforting me and suggesting that I should be "happy like a child". I know she thinks she can do that because she knows me IRL but that's not the kind of feedback I was looking for. I didn't ask her to comfort me. I wanted to know if she liked my poem. Instead, she not only made me feel like an idiot. She made it seem as if writing poetry is a child's play. It rubbed me the wrong way because poetry doesn't come easily to me. And unlike her, I want to be serious about my poetry.

I write to express my thoughts and feelings. Not to get reassured and comforted (that's what Twitter or FB rants are for, which btw this person ignores).

And now I think that my poem is primitive. I'll still work on it (at least the Ukrainian version) because I like it and want to include it in my collection.

I may be overreacting, but I've posted the poem on my public FB page. And I don't think it's okay to post your own poetry or art on another artist's public page dedicated to their art.